Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Discovering a popular psychotherapy approach and how to make use of it at home and at work

I’m so grateful for being a geek. I love to learn. I’m perhaps even more grateful that even in fields I think I’ve explored thoroughly there are new things for me to discover.

Despite having spent almost 2 decades studying psychology and psychotherapeutic modalities, it gives me joy to stumble upon more that I hadn’t come across already (or at least registered properly if I had).

A few years ago (maybe 3?) I discovered Logotherapy, despite having read about its Victor Frankl, its developer, and having read his all-time classic book, Man’s Search for Meaning, years earlier. Somehow I didn’t quite register it until years later when I came across the concept through a different book called The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

Now, as recently as a few days ago, I discovered a booked called The Happiness Trap and through it, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

The Happiness Trap, written by Australian psychologist Dr Russ Harris, played a significant role in popularising Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), especially for a general audience. Although it was published back in 2007, somehow I didn’t come across it clearly enough to pick it up until this year - 18 years later!

The book breaks down ACT principles in a simple, relatable, and practical way, making it accessible to people who may not have a background in psychology. I’m going to try and do that in an even briefer format in this article.

The Happiness Trap title refers to the idea that chasing constant happiness can often lead to greater dissatisfaction and emotional struggle. Instead, the book encourages readers to focus on acceptance, mindfulness, and living according to their values—key components of ACT.

An overview of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a way of helping people handle tough thoughts and feelings while building a life that feels meaningful to them. It’s a mix of mindfulness and practical action, designed to help you focus on what truly matters to you.

Life can be hard, and sometimes we get stuck fighting painful thoughts, feelings, or memories. ACT suggests that instead of “battling” these experiences, we learn to make space for them, accept them, and move forward. The goal isn’t to make bad feelings go away but to stop them from holding you back.

I realise to some of my readers this may sound very similar to some Stoic and Sikh philosophical concepts I’ve written about before. And yes, there are overlaps. In my opinion, that’s a good thing! I believe the most helpful wisdom is often perennial and simple, and just presented in many different ways and contexts.

ACT focuses on six key ideas:

1. Acceptance: Letting room exist for difficult feelings instead of avoiding or fighting them. It’s like saying, “Okay, this feeling is here, but it doesn’t have to control me.”

2. Cognitive defusion: Learning to step back from your thoughts so they don’t seem overwhelming. For example, rather than thinking “I’m a failure,” you might notice, “I’m having a thought that I’m a failure.”
   Also, just to make it explicit, ‘defusion’ is not a typo. It is defusion in this case and not meant to be diffusion.

3. Being present: Staying in the moment instead of getting lost in worries about the past or future. This helps you focus on what’s happening right now.

4. Self-as-context: Seeing yourself as more than your thoughts or feelings—recognising you’re the one observing these experiences, not defined by them.

5. Values: Identifying what truly matters to you—like family, creativity, or helping others—so you can guide your decisions.

6. Committed action: Taking steps, big or small, towards your values, even when it’s challenging.

ACT, much like the coaching perspective, is less about “fixing” yourself and more about creating a rich, full life—even with the ups and downs. It’s about saying, “I don’t need everything to be perfect to move forward.

Origin and history of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) originated in the 1980s, developed by psychologist Steven C. Hayes and his colleagues. It emerged as part of the "third wave" of behavioural therapies, which built upon traditional behaviourism and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) by incorporating mindfulness and acceptance strategies.

The foundation of ACT is Relational Frame Theory (RFT), a psychological theory of language and cognition also developed by Hayes. RFT explores how humans use language and thought, often in ways that create psychological suffering. ACT was designed to address this by helping people relate to their thoughts and feelings differently.

ACT grew in response to the limitations of traditional CBT, which often focused on changing or eliminating negative thoughts. Hayes and his team proposed that instead of trying to control or avoid these thoughts, people could learn to accept them and focus on what truly matters in their lives.

Over the years, ACT has gained widespread recognition and has been supported by a growing body of research. It is now used globally for a range of issues, including anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and even workplace stress. Its emphasis on mindfulness and values-based living has made it a practical, flexible approach for many.

Comparison of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with other psychotherapies

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) differs from other popular psychotherapies in several key ways, particularly in its approach to thoughts, feelings, and personal values. Here's a comparison to some commonly used therapies:

1. ACT vs Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

• CBT focus: CBT aims to identify, challenge, and change unhelpful thoughts and beliefs. It emphasises altering negative thought patterns to improve feelings and behaviours.

• ACT focus: ACT doesn’t aim to change or "fix" thoughts. Instead, it encourages accepting thoughts and feelings without judgment (even unpleasant ones) and reducing their control over your life. The focus is on living in alignment with your values, regardless of difficult internal experiences.

2. ACT vs other mindfulness-based therapies

• Mindfulness therapies focus: Therapies like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) or Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) centre on cultivating mindfulness as the main strategy for managing thoughts and emotions.

• ACT focus: ACT incorporates mindfulness but also includes strategies like cognitive defusion (distancing from thoughts) and committed action. It integrates mindfulness into a broader framework that emphasises values-based living and behavioural change.

3. ACT vs Psychoanalysis

• Psychoanalysis focus: Developed by Freud, psychoanalysis delves deeply into the unconscious mind, exploring repressed memories, desires, and conflicts from early life to uncover the root causes of current psychological issues.

• ACT focus: ACT does not focus on uncovering or analysing the past. Instead, it works in the present, helping people accept their thoughts and feelings without judgment and take meaningful action based on personal values.

4. ACT vs Logotherapy

• Logotherapy focus: Developed by Viktor Frankl, logotherapy is based on the idea that the primary motivation in life is finding meaning. It helps clients discover a sense of purpose, even in the face of suffering.

• ACT focus: ACT shares a similar emphasis on living a meaningful life but adds tools for managing difficult thoughts and emotions through acceptance and mindfulness. ACT doesn’t see suffering as necessarily meaningful but helps people move forward despite it.

5. ACT vs Psychodynamic Therapy

• Psychodynamic focus: Psychodynamic therapy explores the unconscious mind, early life experiences, and relationships to uncover the root causes of emotional struggles.

• ACT focus: ACT is less concerned with exploring the past or uncovering underlying causes. It’s more focused on present-moment awareness, acceptance, and taking meaningful action to create a fulfilling life.

6. ACT vs Gestalt Therapy

• Gestalt therapy focus: Gestalt therapy emphasises awareness of the present moment and the integration of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It often involves experiential techniques, like role-playing, to help clients resolve unfinished business or interpersonal conflicts.

• ACT focus: ACT also values present-moment awareness but is less experiential and more focused on teaching skills like acceptance and cognitive defusion to handle difficult thoughts and emotions. ACT prioritises living in alignment with values rather than resolving interpersonal or past issues.

7. ACT vs Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

• NLP focus: NLP is a controversial approach (that I happened to be highly trained and experienced in myself) that claims to (and in my experience does) improve psychological outcomes by changing language patterns, thought processes, and behaviours. It often involves techniques like visualisation or reframing to achieve goals.

• ACT focus: ACT does not aim to reprogram or change thought patterns directly. Instead, it encourages a new relationship with thoughts, accepting them as they are and reducing their power to dictate behaviour. The emphasis is on values and committed action, not controlling or altering internal processes.

7. ACT vs Solution-Focused Therapy

• Solution-Focused focus: Solution-focused therapy emphasises finding immediate, practical solutions to problems and focuses on strengths and resources.

• ACT focus: ACT recognises that some struggles (e.g., chronic pain or grief) cannot be "solved" and instead teaches people to accept these experiences and focus on building a meaningful life around them.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), whilst having some natural overlaps with other psychotherapeutic modalities, stands out to me because it focuses on accepting life’s challenges and building a meaningful, values-driven life, rather than trying to fix or control thoughts and emotions.

In my own quest to discover what’s under my turban (and deeper), I’ve been on a long and tedious journey of shifting from solving to surrender, if there was such a magical spectrum one could shift and slide on.

Philosophy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT shares significant common ground with various philosophies too. Like Stoicism, it emphasises recognising what is within your control—your actions and choices—and letting go of the struggle against what you cannot change, such as difficult emotions or external events. Both encourage living with integrity and aligning actions with your core values.

It also draws from (or at least reflects) Buddhist principles, particularly in its focus on mindfulness, present-moment awareness, and reducing suffering by changing your relationship with your thoughts. The ACT principle of acceptance mirrors Buddhist ideas of acknowledging pain as part of life without letting it define you.

Sikh philosophy aligns with ACT through its emphasis on purposeful action (seva, or selfless service), living according to one’s values, and maintaining a balanced mindset amidst life’s ups and downs (chardi kala). Both ACT and Sikh teachings highlight the importance of resilience, humility, and staying anchored in what truly matters.

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You can have a read of my reflections on some of these Sikh principles here:

Celebrating gratitude

The art of surrendering in modern life

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Philosophically, ACT also shares roots with existentialism, acknowledging that suffering is an inherent part of life and that meaning comes from how you respond to it. It complements logotherapy, with its focus on finding purpose even in adversity, and mindfulness-based therapies, which similarly encourage presence and self-compassion.

How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can be useful for you in your day-to-day life

In day-to-day life, ACT can be a practical and empowering approach to handle challenges and stay focused on what matters most, whether at home or at work.

At home, ACT can help you navigate emotional ups and downs with greater ease. For example, instead of getting stuck in a loop of negative thoughts or pushing uncomfortable feelings away, you can practise noticing and accepting them without judgment. This can be especially helpful during family disagreements or when managing stress from parenting or relationships.

For instance, imagine you’re feeling overwhelmed after an argument with your partner about household responsibilities. Instead of replaying the disagreement in your mind or trying to suppress the frustration, ACT encourages you to pause and acknowledge what you’re feeling—maybe anger, disappointment, or sadness—without trying to push it away or judge yourself for it.

You might say to yourself, “I’m feeling frustrated right now, and that’s okay.” By accepting the emotion as a natural response, you can create space to reflect on what matters most to you, such as fostering a respectful and supportive relationship.

From there, you might choose to approach your partner calmly, share how you’re feeling, and work together to find a solution, rather than letting the conflict escalate or simmer under the surface. This practice of acceptance and purposeful action helps defuse emotional tension and brings the focus back to your values.

At work, ACT is equally useful for handling stress, staying focused, and making meaningful progress.

Instead of battling self-doubt or getting overwhelmed by deadlines, you can learn to acknowledge those thoughts and feelings without letting them derail you. ACT’s emphasis on committed action helps you stay aligned with your professional values, like teamwork, integrity, or growth, even when the pressure is on.

Imagine you receive critical feedback from your manager about a project you worked hard on. Your initial reaction might be a flood of frustration, embarrassment, or self-doubt, with thoughts like, “I’m terrible at this” or “Why did I even try?” Instead of spiralling into those feelings or trying to push them away, ACT encourages you to pause and acknowledge what’s happening internally: “I’m feeling hurt and discouraged, and that’s okay—it’s natural to feel this way after feedback.”

By accepting these emotions without judgment, you can step back and reflect on what’s really important, such as your value of growth or your commitment to improving your skills. With this perspective, you might decide to focus on the constructive elements of the feedback and use it to adjust your approach for the next project.

This acceptance and values-driven action allows you to turn a difficult moment into an opportunity for growth without letting the emotions derail your confidence or motivation.

In both home and work life, ACT teaches you to step back from unhelpful thoughts, embrace the present moment, and act in ways that align with your values. It’s a simple, adaptable framework for creating a more balanced and meaningful life, no matter the circumstances.

Where to from here

If this piqued your interest in wanting to learn more about ACT, I’d recommend starting with Dr Russ Harris’ books ‘The Happiness Trap’ and ‘The Reality Slap: Finding Peace and Fulfilment When Life Hurts’ (I haven’t read this one yet).

YouTube is full of videos on ACT too, so rather than sharing a link to an intro one, I’ll share this nifty illustration video explaining a very helpful exercise that comes from ACT:

Finally, I’ll close on this note: ACT, like any other psychotherapy or philosophy, is best adopted with a healthy dose of pragmatism. Dogmatic tendencies towards any one methodology, practice or school of thought typically does more harm than good. That said, I hope there might be something helpful in this for you in your own journey of self-discovery.

Let me know in the comments if it is, or if you’ve had experience with ACT or something similar already that has been helpful for you to develop practical resilience and manage life challenges better.

Wishing you more resilience and a lot less need to exercise it in the new year!