Purpose is overrated; do this instead
Having a sense of purpose is more important than having a clearly defined purpose.
For years and years, I used to think having a clearly defined purpose - a grand life mission - would act like a radioactive spider or a freak chemical accident and give me superpowers.
It took me a long time to realise that having an overarching primary purpose you can write down explicitly is overrated.
In fact, it's worse.
Waiting for it can be a surefire way to develop chronic anxiety, feelings of inadequacy and comparing yourself to others who seem to "have their life together".
While I was on this quest to find a higher, grand purpose for my life, it felt like I was being chased by creatures that were manifestations of my insecurities and fears that I would never figure out my own life’s mission.
The truth is, purposes come and go and change over time. You can also have multiple purposes in your life at the same time spanning across different areas of your life.
That's called being human and you can still be the hero of your story without cultivating vague delusions of grandeur.
What is useful is having and nurturing a sense of purpose: a feeling that your life isn't pointless and that you can make choices about and for your life with some mindful deliberation.
Nurturing this feeling will give you the motivation to not be a passive observer of your own life but rather an active participant. It'll give you the desire and energy to get out of the passenger seat and into the driver's seat to grab a hold of the steering wheel.
And if you're not sure yet where exactly you're headed, I promise that having the psychological energy to hold the wheel, ready to speed up, slow down and steer at the right opportunities, is a fantastic upward spiral that will improve all areas of your life!
How to cultivate a sense of purpose
Reflect on your values and interests
Start by diving deep into your own psyche and heart. Ask yourself, what lights the fire in your belly (or even just regularly catches your attention)? It could be anything like social justice, artistic expression, or simply the thrill of discovery and learning. Or a combination of things! Exploring and pinpointing what kinds of things you value and prefer is like building up the compass for your journey. Without this step, you might find yourself wandering aimlessly, or worse, living a life that reflects someone else's preferences, not your own.Engage in diverse experiences
Life's a grand buffet, and sticking to the same dish day after day is no way to dine! Explore different activities, hobbies, and professional arenas. Each new experience is a piece of the puzzle that forms your unique sense of purpose. If you don't step out of your comfort zone, you risk a life of monotony, never discovering the full spectrum of your potential.Set broad, flexible goals
Now, think about setting goals that are like horizons – vast and inviting, not narrow pathways you must strictly follow and get stuck in analysis paralysis or just get overwhelmed. For instance, aim to 'nurture my creativity' rather than 'become a bestselling novelist by 30'. This approach keeps you open to life's unpredictable twists and turns, ensuring a journey that's adaptable and resilient. Neglecting this can lead you down a path of rigid expectations, where you miss out on unexpected opportunities that don't fit the narrow mould of your initial goal.Reflect and adjust regularly
Think of this as your regular 'purpose check-up'. Keep a journal, and track your feelings, experiences, and the insights they bring. This habit keeps your journey aligned with your evolving self. Without reflection, you might end up on a path that no longer resonates with you, like an outdated map leading you in the wrong direction.Build connections
Your journey isn't a solo expedition. It's enriched by the people you meet along the way. Forge connections across different walks of life; they can open doors to new worlds. Isolating yourself in a bubble can lead to a narrow perspective, potentially stifling the energy that fuels the sense of purpose.Prioritise self-care and mindfulness
Your body and mind are your vehicles on this journey, so maintain them well. Regular self-care and mindfulness practices keep you grounded and connected to your inner self. Neglecting this aspect can leave you burnt out or disconnected from your sense of purpose, and caught up again in thinking you need to figure out the specifically definable purpose.Take action and reflect
This is where you put your foot on the pedal. Start with small, manageable steps towards your broader goals. Reflect on the impact of these actions not only in terms of moving towards achievement but also in terms of feeding your sense of purpose. If your actions move you closer to a goal but don’t fuel you with more energy along the way, you risk burnout before you get to any meaningful destination anyway.Embrace flexibility and learning
Be ready to pivot and learn from each experience. Life will undoubtedly throw curveballs, and your ability to adapt will define your journey. Clinging too tightly to a fixed idea of purpose can lead you to miss out on the growth and opportunities that come from life’s unexpected lessons.
Getting attached to the idea of trying to discover your “life’s big purpose” can cause tunnel vision, limiting your growth by making you overlook other opportunities. This intense focus often leads to stress and feelings of inadequacy, especially if you perceive any deviation from your goal as a failure.
Such rigidity also makes it hard to adapt to life's changes, potentially causing you to miss out on interesting or important opportunities. Not to mention, it can narrow your view of success, making you less likely to recognise and appreciate the smaller achievements and joys along the way.
Cultivating a sense of purpose is a dynamic and evolving journey. It's about staying true to your inner compass, being open to the vastness of life's experiences, and actively engaging in the world around you.
With each step, as you explore and discover various things you care about, enjoy and appreciate, you weave the rich tapestry of a life lived with intention and meaning.
And, in my own explorations of what’s under my turban, I’ve found this to be an excellent fuel for living my life more purposefully.