The fear of stating the obvious

How you're holding yourself back from adding a ton of value, and how you can express the simplest of thoughts and make them profoundly effective

Ever sat in a meeting, doodling on your notepad, convinced that your "obvious" idea isn't worth sharing? Or maybe at a family BBQ, you refrained from giving your cousin some seemingly straightforward advice on their new venture. "Oh, they probably already know that," you say to yourself. But what if they don't? Let's tackle the subtle art of stating the obvious without sounding like Captain Obvious or making others feel like they missed the memo.

Why would you fear stating the obvious?

The apprehension usually stems from a fear of judgement. You don't want to be the person in the room that makes everyone collectively roll their eyes. Shakespeare once said, "Better a witty fool than a foolish wit." And no one wants to play the fool, right? For example, imagine you're in a team meeting discussing how to increase productivity, and you think, "What about setting clear goals?" But you hold back, fearing it's too rudimentary.

Why you shouldn't

Holding back can do more harm than good. Not only are you robbing your team, family or friends of a potentially useful insight, but you're also dismissing your own worth. As someone once said, "The only dumb question is the one not asked." Ever heard of beginner's luck? It's usually because a newbie brings a fresh perspective to an age-old problem. So, your seemingly 'obvious' idea might just be the breakthrough someone needs.

You see, the concept of "the elusive obvious," coined by Moshe Feldenkrais, comes into play here. As Feldenkrais suggests, "The Elusive Obvious deals with simple, fundamental notions of our daily life that through habit become elusive." Think of it as a sort of knowledge-dejavu. You hear something for the first time, and yet it feels incredibly obvious. We often find ourselves wrapped up in our own world-views, forgetting that what's "obvious" to us isn't necessarily the same for someone else. In a room full of diverse experiences and perspectives, your 'obvious' could very well be the eye-opener someone else needs.

So, don't underestimate the power of stating what might seem obvious to you. It could be extremely relevant and useful to someone else, shedding light on an angle that has otherwise been overlooked.

How can you overcome your fear of stating the obvious?

Overcoming the fear of stating the obvious is more about internal work than external expression. The key lies in shifting your mindset and boosting your self-confidence. To start, remind yourself that every person in the room or at the family gathering has had moments of hesitation, moments when they weren't sure if their contributions would be valuable. You're not alone.

One effective method to combat this fear is to challenge your own assumptions. Ask yourself: "What’s the worst that can happen if I say this out loud?" Often, you’ll find that the worst-case scenario is not as dire as you've imagined—it's usually a minor embarrassment that fades quickly. Conversely, the best-case scenario could be a game-changing contribution that no one else has thought of.

Another tactic is to seek validation from a trusted colleague or family member before presenting your idea to a larger group. A bit of encouragement can go a long way in quelling fears. It's like having a quick yarn with your best mate before making a big decision; sometimes you just need that extra nudge.

Finally, remind yourself that your perspective is unique. Even if the point is "obvious," your particular framing or understanding of the issue may offer new insights. Take comfort in the knowledge that what you have to say could be the missing piece of the puzzle that everyone else is trying to solve, be it at work or in a personal situation.

By adopting these approaches, you'll build the courage to overcome your fear, making it easier to share what might seem like "obvious" ideas but could, in fact, be golden nuggets of wisdom waiting to be unearthed.

How to state the obvious without sounding like an idiot or making your audience feel dumb

Sometimes stating the obvious can backfire, making you appear condescending or uninformed, or worse, leaving your audience feeling belittled. It's a bit like telling someone to "just relax" when they're visibly stressed; it's not only redundant but could also ruffle feathers.

In professional settings, making an overtly obvious point without context or without tailoring your message to the audience can give the impression that you think your colleagues are not up to speed, which can breed resentment.

In personal relationships, it might come across as if you're underestimating the other person's intelligence or experience, putting an unnecessary strain on the dynamics. It's a tricky line to tread, but remember, it's not just the message that counts, but also the delivery.

Some techniques to make the obvious land better

Soften your approach

When you want to share a point that might come across as "stating the obvious," try to use a softer approach. Introduce the point as a personal observation or a communal challenge. For instance, instead of saying, "You should do X," you could frame it as, "I've found that doing X has really helped me, perhaps it could work for you too?" This tactic tends to disarm people and makes the information more digestible.

Use qualifiers

Think of qualifiers as the disclaimers before you drop the knowledge bomb. Using phrases like, "This might sound obvious, but hear me out," or "I know we've touched on this before, but it bears repeating," can help set the stage. These phrases give your audience a heads-up and manage expectations before the main point lands.

Master the art of the 'Socratic question'

Before launching into what might be an obvious statement, use a Socratic question to gauge the room. Ask a question that will lead your audience to the point you want to make. This will give them the illusion that they've arrived at this 'obvious' point by themselves, and you'll just be there to confirm it. A little manipulative? Perhaps. Effective? Absolutely.

Here’s an example: In a project meeting where team dynamics need to be addressed, instead of directly saying, "We need better team collaboration," you could ask, "What do you all think is the secret ingredient that separates a good project team from a great one?" Chances are, someone will mention collaboration or teamwork, giving you an organic opening to delve into the topic. This way, it feels like a communal insight rather than a top-down directive.

Use the 'yes, and...' technique

Here's a gem from the world of improv comedy. If someone has just mentioned a point that you were about to bring up, instead of jumping in with a "Yes, but..." which can seem confrontational, use "Yes, and..." to build on what's just been said. It's like stating the obvious without actually stating it; you're simply enhancing it. Don’t do this if you’re going to end up being confrontational or argumentative anyway. It’ll backfire.

Here’s an example: If a colleague mentions the importance of cybersecurity, instead of saying, "Yes, but we also need to focus on employee training," say, "Yes, and employee training can help enhance our cybersecurity efforts." It feels like a collaborative addition rather than a shift in focus.

Utilise the ‘in my experience’ pretext

Right before you lay down your ‘obvious’ wisdom, lead with “In my experience...” This does two things: First, it acknowledges that you're sharing something based on your personal or professional experience, thus giving it a unique spin. Second, it implies that while you find this information valuable, others may have a different view or experience, which leaves room for discussion without undermining your point.

Instead of saying, "You should focus on the present to find happiness," you could say, "In my experience, focusing on the present has helped me find happiness."

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The bottom line

While the fear of judgement or appearing uninformed can hold you back, remember that what's apparent to you might be the 'aha moment' someone else needs. In fact, by withholding these insights, you're not just limiting your own voice, you could also be withholding potentially game-changing information. Whether it's an underappreciated fact, an 'elusive obvious,' or simply a fresh perspective on an old problem, your contribution can make all the difference.

If you've been holding your tongue at work meetings or family gatherings, I hope this piece gives you the tools and the nudge to speak up. Between reframing your mindset to overcome fear and using nuanced communication tactics to deliver your message, you're more than equipped to turn what feels like stating the obvious into something insightful and constructive.

The next time you find yourself thinking, "Should I say it or not?"—just remember, the most revolutionary ideas often come wrapped in the guise of common sense. Don't let the fear of stating the obvious prevent you from sharing what could be a golden nugget of wisdom. Because in the grand scheme of things, it's often the simplest observations that lead to the most profound changes.

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